Just done with BChem. I can conclude there is a high percentage chance that i may need to retake. Forday just sucked setting such a paper.

Was at sino just now, i just trained by myself for 45minutes. Just kept to myself. I can't help but think, i've been training since i was 8. What have i achieved? Nothing much i can be proud of really, especially for someone who has trained for so long. I think my most defining and satisfying "achievement" was still back in 2007 when i was in sec4.

And now i'm 18. I have one more last year. 2010 will probably be the last year i can compete. Can i make something happen that i can be seriously proud of? I don't know. And i think at the rate trainings have been going, it has a low chance of happening. Nationals are next month. I have one more month. But yet, i feel like my qiang is still so far away. So what if i'm fast? If i can't do any nandu, its useless. I will still lose to all the others. And the worst thing is, all my competitors are always the same people. We all grew on this path together, for so many years, watching each other progress. I feel like they have all achieved something to be proud of. But i haven't, or is it just that my expectations are too high?

Everytime liuming looks at my qiang and says its nice, i don't know if his smile is sincere or not.

But ah well, all thoughts and speculations, if everybody thinks so much and so seriously, life would be a bore. Just chiong in, and...uh..CHIONG AH!

ok thats gonna be my motto for china liao. Nice one la.