Wednesday, September 30, 2009
WOOHOO!!
I never realized how good it feels to finally wash your own hair! hahaha feels damn shiok. Past few days sleeping and smelling the blood from my hair was disgusting. Everywhere i go also blood smell. Tsk. And now the smell is goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =D And i feel very refreshed. Hair not itchy anymore also. But i can predict that my forehead still going to have lots of pimples, still couldnt wash my face. Haiz
P.s. I changed my mind, i realized i still smell blood. Must be from the front portion of my hair. Couldn't wash it properly cause the wound is still there. MAN!
2:20 PM
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Deeply disappointed. Today really proved the dedication of people. It is nice to see it shining forth, and yet disappointing to see the lack of it as well.
11:51 PM
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Today was...i don't know.
His comment really seared through an already tearing heart. The only consolation i felt was that my qiang was up to standard. If there wasn't that there as a living thread to support, i think i would have been taken down.
Even now, i feel down. To see everyone's disappointment, and to see their efforts trying to hide it, it hurts. Everyone's lost in their own thoughts. Everything suddenly seemed so cold. A normally lively atmosphere transformed. Theres so many changes, and there doesn't seem like theres a thing which i can do. Damn i feel like drowning myself in the bathroom.
I really feel like taking a break you know. To let my thoughts organize themselves. To have a little me time. To let my brain empty its contents into the air. But theres so many things to do. My break will still be long in coming it would seem. Disappointing ain't it?
I'm gonna improve. I can fulfill my responsibilites, cause i must.
1:17 AM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Mixture of emotions, letting peaceful sleep float within grasp, yet tangible enough to prevent me from taking it in my hands.
Damn i really need a good long holiday =/
1:38 AM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Its times like this that i really understand how hugang feels. The stress, the irritance, all the dumb people coming to you and pestering you. But yet, politics are holding you back.
Sometimes i wish i can just open my mouth and shout myself hoarse. But i can't, i have to coat everything in a sugary language.
Why are you even complaining so much? I've given you the chance. I've given everyone the same chance! Constantly pushing the blame to others, this is your own participation, take it in your own hands! Don't expect people to update you. Update yourself! Ben just msn-ed me, asking what we did for rehersals just now. I'm rather surprised he asked for an update. But at least he bothers enough to ask. If you really are that busy that you can't reply my sms, emails, msn, then please for your own sake, pull out. Stressing yourself too much is not good. However, i do not believe you are that busy with posts of being boreddddd and asking for outings.
And here i find myself giving you another chance. Am i really that stupid? 我已经够累了!这种废物,不要给我惹麻烦!
Damn i just wanna sleep, but theres still things to do. =/
11:38 PM
Monday, September 14, 2009
GUANMO IS COMING!!! Excitement is close to boiling over. Its like finally my qiang can be showcased! I really hope i don't screw up on that day =/ But hey, why am i cursing myself for? LOL!
Yesterday at hongwen, i felt really happy, especially at the point where we all sat down and shouted. I think we really showed everyone there really how united we are. And i believe there are few out there who would do what we did. I think my qiang got biaoxian normally. Only difference is the floor is so slippery! O_O it was damn fun sliding on the floor HAHA. I lian that part so long, i think yesterday was the furthest i went. Of course, i had no control over how far i slid =/ My finger got injured trying to stop myself. LOL but it was worth the fun.
And for once the jitis really shouted. I guess we were just too lazy during normal trainings to shout properly? That's how i personally feel anyway. And the china coaches performances was damn cool! Especially the qiang guy! Gosh he jump so high! Although he shiwu alot, i'm sure it won't happen on that day. And i'm definitely gonna put in that dongzuo into my taolu once this is all over! After this is Nationals!
Anyway i felt very irritated by them constantly threatening to axe us over the microphone. And we were the only team threatened. It shows the typical bias-ness that has forever been in them and it just goes to further imprint into me that my decision to quit was not wrong. Guess they really haven't changed despite all the changing of committees and the passing of the years. Corruption flows rampant, living in self denial.
4:59 PM
Monday, September 07, 2009
YAY tomorrow is the first day in the whole hols that theres no sch, no event, no meeting, no training, no outing! i can sleep the whole day!! congrats to me!! =D
2:25 AM